Connecting to the why behind your want
If the why is strong enough the how becomes easy - Laura Stack. Knowing what we want is all well and good, yet when we get super clear on this and connect to what we truely want we quite often realise its a long way away and its not going to be an easy journey, its actually going to be really tough. I can almost guarantee its going to be a journey that’s full of highs, lows, wins, losses and lessons. When times get tough and the easiest option is to quit, this is when it's very important to remind ourselves why we are doing this.
I love diving into WHY people want what they want, finding out the wants behind the want, these hold true value to an individual and when they are discovered and really connected with, they can take you from wanting something to really desiring something. Which if you're looking to achieve your ultimate self then you're going to need a really strong desire to make it happen because it certainly won’t be easy.
Say you want to lose 20kgs and be a fitter, stronger, pain-free, healthy version of yourself… Why do you want that? Why do you really want that? What’s going to be different for you if you have that? Whats is the real cost to you if you don’t have that?
Generally there are 2 motivating forces that we experience when looking into our why. There is an energy of desperation (running away from something) and an energy of inspiration (moving towards something). Both are important and typically people are more motivated from a place of desperation initially, from letting things get to a point where enough is enough and just having to make a change!
Maybe you have noticed your weight creeping up a bit, the stairs have been getting harder, you have been breathing heavier, feeling low on energy all the time, reaching for coffee. You notice people that aren’t in a great place with their health and it scares you, you don’t want to end up like that. You don’t want to have to rely on people to look after you when you're older, you feel the need to get on top of your health, you have had some bad results at the doctor and also really don’t like what you see in the mirror, you want to remove the stress it's been causing you lately. Maybe you haven’t been able to keep up with the kids lately and they are noticing, this makes you feel upset and like you're not the best role model to your kids.
The above scenarios come from desperate energy, most people are initially motivated by this to create change, the problem here is this kind of energy is very anxiety producing and gradually we want to shift from this into having more inspiration as out main source of drive.
From a space of inspiration you may want to lose the 20kgs because you want to feel good, you want to move better and have more energy each day, your really excited about being able to walk and maybe even run again and keep up with the kids because you have really enjoyed this experience in the past and your looking forward to being able to do it again. You know when you can keep up with the kids you connect with them better, you feel happy and alive and this is how you want to feel so you are excited to make some changes and start moving towards what you want.
My mother has had over 10 open heart surgeries, the last one was a heart transplant (which she is recovering from nicely now), but initially her motivating forces were super simple but very powerful, she didn’t want to die (desperation), she wanted to live (inspiration).
If you notice your drive is all coming from a desperate place and you feel anxiety / stress around that, this may be an indication that you need to do some inner work and understand where this anxiety / stress is coming from. (well leave this for another blog)
If you have / would like to uncover your massive reason to start performing as your ultimate self reach out and lets see if I can help you - https://www.customhealthcoaching.com/book-no